Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I Think That I Have a Tapeworm


Depending on my hormonal status, I have a week or two of eating a lot & then weeks of not eating much. The last 2 months or so, it hasn’t tapered off. Yet, I haven’t gained weight. (I haven’t stepped on a scale though.)

Seriously, I am ALWAYS hungry and am putting food away like a high school football team. Yes, I Said The Whole Team. Even the other two legged person in my life has mentioned it.

“You are going to eat us out of house & home.”

“You eat twice as much as I do.”

“Are you sure that you got enough?” 

I am going to start putting my name on the tupperware containers, otherwise I will never get to eat.”

I would like to think that it is my new medication. Excuse me while I go google………..{Insert really cool hold music here}………….No, while side effects listed include bizarre behavior, worsening aggressiveness, trouble concentrating, impulsiveness, which explains mucho, no mentioning of increased appetite. In fact, it specifically lists DEcreased appetite.

This is the point in a normal blog post where I would show you a picture of what it is about. I once again let google do the work, but there are no pictures of tape worms that aren’t vomit inducing.

I will go with this picture.

This is where I will be spending a lot of time if I keep eating so much. Come on, you can’t tell me that you have never wanted to see what being in the real dog house is like. Not a flattering picture, but I like to keep it real and while they say bald is beautiful, sunburns hurt.

This all brings me back to me having a tapeworm. I am sure that there is another explanation, I just haven’t found one yet.


Hey, you gonna eat that?

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Sunny Thank You for the Sunshine You Gave to Us


Monday, turned out to be another tough day in our household. We lost dear Sunny/Sonny.

Now, I will be the first to admit, it took a while for me to enjoy Sunny when he came to live with us. Check out my old post, When Animals Attack to see why. Still, we had gotten to be great friends and constant companions while I was reading. (Murphy tends to try and sit in my lap, not so conducive to reading)

Lately he had just hadn’t been as spry as he used to be and spent a lot of time eating grass only to puke it back up. He seemed to adjust to the move better than Murphy, who hasn’t left my side, but something wasn’t right.

He also bit me again, but I had my heavy knock-off Ugg boots on, so there was no emergency trip involved.

It had gotten to the point that while he was sleeping, I would actually watch him for a bit to make sure that he was breathing. I told myself that it was silly, but Monday morning, he wasn’t when I checked.

He would have been 13 later this month and while the time he spent with me was short, it will be memorable. I just have to look at the scars on my arm and he will be with me.

Art’s daughter is not taking it well. Sunny was the dog that she grew up with, dressed him in tutus and floppy hats. I can relate to that feeling, each step and loss in your 20’s means you are leaving your childhood one more step behind. So much in her life has drastically changed in the past few years and I wish that I could make time standstill for all of us.

All I can say is that I was glad to know Sunny and pleased that she trusted me enough to give him a home when he needed one.

Sunny thank your for your smiles. You went from being the new sheriff in town to having a big place in my heart.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Reason #4,212 That I Am Not Allowed In The Kitchen

We made the big move. Nothing was really unpacked, but our bed was here and we spent our first night in the new house. Being exhausted and with the help of Ambien, I toddled off to dreamland quite nicely…..

Until 4:55 AM when a loud explosion rocked all of us up. Seriously. LOUD. Breaking glass and everything. I jumped up and ran in the garage, figuring that the box of not so priceless china we had gotten from Art’s mom had fallen.

No. There was nothing broken or fallen in the garage. Hmm, just where did that big boom come from? We couldn’t find anything wrong and decided that it must have been an accident out on the road. We went back to bed, but I was awake at that point.

Oh well, I thought, might as well get up and start unpacking the kitchen. That is when I saw the destruction……..

Our kitchen, which had formerly looked like this

Now looked like this….

I thought that the flat surface stove was so cool. It was a great place to store boxes awaiting to be unpacked.

Um, it was unless by putting said boxes on the stove, you end up turning it on

& said boxes slowly heat up

& the can of cranberry sauce you tucked in with the dishes finally gets so hot that it explodes

& the boxes of plates and other breakable stuff gets shot across the room

& did I mention that we made this in part to save some money?

& a new stove wasn’t really in the budget?

This, my friends, is why I shouldn’t be allowed in the kitchen. Word from the now wiser, don’t put anything other than pots & pans on that flat surface.


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